Hey everyone!
This is my first blog post I've made since arriving to Japan. I'm surprised (and maybe a little disappointed?) because I planned on blogging way more. I think my videos are sufficient, but there are some experiences I couldn't properly vlog. Luckily I have my *cough*half-abandoned*cough* blog!
One of the experiences I wish I could have vlogged properly was the J-Pop idol dance competition I participated in. It was unforgettable and an experience I didn't think I would have during my semester abroad.
Some background information
In Japan, joining clubs and circles in college is very important. The difference between clubs and circles is the level of dedication and time commitment one has to put forth. Clubs are more like sports teams whereas circles are more like social gatherings you can choose to go to whenever you want. I ended up finding the perfect group for me: a J-pop dance cover circle. In reality, it felt more like a club because of the serious practices we had.
Every semester, this group participates in a competition called "unidol." "Unidol" is a combination of the words "university" and "idol." Clever, right?
Last semester, this circle won first place so the bar was set really high for us and of course this team wanted to win for a second time in a row.
Every week we had practice on Monday, Friday and Saturday. Monday and Friday practices were in a classroom at school from 5pm to 8pm. Saturday practices were at a YMCA-type facility in a dance studio room from 8:30 a.m. to 12 p.m. It wasn't SUPER mandatory that you attended every single practice, but it was expected that you do, and since I'm a new person to the group and a foreigner I felt like I needed to make sure I attended every practice to prove myself.
Frustrations along the way
I have to admit, there were times when I was a little frustrated with things. I mean, no experience is perfect, right? It wasn't bad and I got over it and it made me a better person (as cliche as that sounds.) There were times when I found myself to be bored. I was only dancing in one song during the competition so I had to keep practicing the same song and the same moves over and over again. But, it was worth it because all of that repetitive dancing helped me dance effortlessly at the competition (more on that later on in this post).
There were times when I felt left out in the group. I was the only one who didn't have a good grasp at Japanese, so I missed out on jokes people made with each other and I felt like I couldn't have as much fun as everyone else. However, one day, when I was dreading going to practice because I thought I was going to feel bored and left out again, my outlook was totally changed. Two other first year club members decided to practice in the hallway and told me to come along. During that practice we had good conversations in broken English and Japanese and after that, I felt like the ice was completely broken. Knowing that they tried to include me made me feel really good and I think they were happy that I was practicing Japanese so the entire exchange was very pleasant.
I was also really frustrated with the uniforms we had to wear for the competition as well. Many members of the group are really skinny, so I was afraid that I would look horrible in the uniforms chosen for us. I felt really insecure and self conscious. However, once I figured out how to make the uniform work for me and when I found out we could customize our uniforms and so on, I got excited and eventually felt decent in what we had to wear. I'm obviously not as tiny as the other members, but I got over it and somehow found confidence within me.
Idols are serious business
Members of this group took things very seriously. During practice, we had to make sure we were in sync with everything: from the angle we held our hands at certain moves to the timing of the stepping of our feet. There were times when members cried. During one practice, one member couldn't get the timing right of one move down with everyone else and I could see her eyes were watering up, but she tried to hide it. Another member had an issue with timing her moves with everyone else as well, but it was harder for her to hide her tears.
Before the competition, we had an examination by graduated members of the group. We all performed the songs we would be doing for the competition and we were evaluated by the former members. One member cried after performing one of the songs. I couldn't tell if it was because she was nervous or she was sad because she messed up. She wasn't sobbing, but she was sniffling and covering her nose and mouth with her hands while he eyes watered. This examination actually happens before any public performance the group has. If a member doesn't do a good job according to the judges, that member won't be allowed to perform with the group.
After the examination for the competition, there was a long talk about what could be improved. It was all in Japanese, so I couldn't tell you what they said LOL, but it surprised me because I thought we did fine. In fact, it always surprised me when people found stuff wrong during our practices. Someone would say they did something terrible, but in my mind I'm thinking "how was that bad? You did a good job!" I guess my eye for detail isn't as keen as I thought.
For some practices, we did some things that I thought were kind of ridiculous/noteworthy to mention. Facial expressions were really important. We had to sing along and look happy/cute while doing so. To ensure this, we had facial expression practice. We all stood in front of a window looked at our reflections in the window to practice. Another time, we stood in front of one of the sempai members and she judged our facial expressions. On the day before the competition, we practiced making eye contact with someone "in the audience" (more on that later omg.) It was so awkward for me at first. In my mind I was like "I feel so stupid doing this omg," but everyone was really serious about it. I really felt shy about it LOL. There was a time when I held myself back from being too cutesy and someone told me I needed to look happier so I did it, and apparently I was good at it. Basically, not only did we have to have our dance moves right, but our facial expressions were really important to keep in mind too, which is essential for a good performer.
ACTUAL COMPETITION DAY
We met up at school and left for the competition during lunch time at 12:30. It felt like we were going on a field trip. Today was the big day so everyone was excited. I don't think everyone's nerves hit them yet at this time.
We rode the train together to the venue. On the way there, one of the members gave out hand written messages to everyone. It was really touching and some members teared up. I was very touched because she specially wrote her message to me in English. She apologized for not having good English, but her grammar and everything was really good! I had no idea she could speak English so well. I was really happy and impressed.
Upon arriving to the venue, we were greeted by the Unidol staff who then did roll call for all of us. Everyone was called by their last name except for me and the other foreigner in the group haha. We were each given passes on lanyards that said "Unidol 2015" on them. I really wish we could have kept them, but we had to turn them in at the end of the competition. After badge distribution, we were each given a small treat which was a mini kit-kat and some hard fruity candy. Everyone was seriously so surprised by this. There was a big "EHHH??" from everyone LOL. In Japan, the marketing for kit-kats is something like "do your best" so people eat them before exams and things like this.
We went to the changing/sitting area for all of the competing groups. It was really cramped, but it's Japan so that's normal (I'm not kidding). We all stood in a circle and then one of the members read to us the schedule and the rules from a pamphlet. I was told that we weren't allowed to video record or take pictures in this area for respect towards the other groups. Upon hearing this, I decided that vlogging this wouldn't be a good idea, but in retrospect, I should have just do it anyway as long as I kept my video camera only focused on us. I could have easily recorded other parts of the venue too. But, at the moment, I didn't want to get in trouble so I just respected the rules.
After throwing my boots on, (one of them wasn't even fully laced), we went to the stage because it was time for our rehearsal. Different groups could rehearse in different ways. Some danced to parts of their routine while we just practiced positions. One member stood in the audience section to see if we were in the right spots. On the stage, on the ground, were spots near the front of the stage with numbers. In the center was 0, and on the left and right side was 1, then 2, 3, 4, and 5. While we were learning the dances for this competition, we were told to keep our positions in relation to these numbers in mind. This was the most difficult thing for me, because I didn't realize how important this was until the day before the competition. I remembered my positions easily (where I was in relation to who was around me) but with the numbers, I didn't think much of it. It wasn't until the day before when I was told that this was also something to hammer into my brain. Because the stage is bigger than the dance studio we practiced in, we couldn't just rely on remembering where we were based on who was next to us because there's so much more space to take in consideration.
We only had a limited time to practice on stage (I think it was like 2 minutes, so we had to go through our positions fast). There were two times when I held the group up because I wasn't in the exact position. I was told to "move more to the back" or "move more to the right." Luckily, we got through everything. I was thinking to myself, "if we don't make it past the semi-finals, it'll probably be my fault for throwing the group off because I wasn't in the correct position."
After that, we all got lunch. The freshman members invited me to go get lunch with them so I went, then the older members went off and got lunch on their own. I thought it was really nice that they tried to include me LOL.
Secret Camera Man and Me Speaking Japanese
While we sat and ate our lunch in a circle surrounded by everyone's bags/clothes, this guy came around with a video camera and started interviewing us. Apparently he was supposed to be some sort of "secret" camera man, giving fans like an insiders view on everything. I thought this was interesting,, yet kind of creepy at the same time. The guy would secretly record people from afar without them knowing. Part of this is okay because sometimes people look their best in candid shots, but part of me was afraid that he would secretly record people getting dressed or walk in on people getting dressed. I don't think any of this happened, so that's good omg. Anyways, he asked if he could interview us and so the members started talking. I was the furthest away from the camera so I kind of just sat there and smiled. I understood a few things so I wasn't completely lost for once. Eventually the guy noticed I wasn't saying anything so he assumed I was a foreigner (which he's correct) and asked where I was from. I'm pretty proud of myself for responding in Japanese for everything LOL although there was some confusion. He spoke really quietly so I kept asking him to repeat the question but I think everyone took that as I didn't understand, so the other members told me what he asked in English. I'm not that much of a noob, I promise LOL. He asked me why I joined and I said that I joined because I like dancing and because I like AKB48 (no shame). He was surprised when I said I liked AKB48, which I thought was weird because wouldn't most people doing this thing like AKB48? I guess it's because I'm a foreigner, he's surprised that I know them.
One question that stood out was when he asked me "do you want to become an idol?"I didn't know how to respond to that so I pretended that I didn't understand to buy me more time. Do I want to become an idol? I mean, idk, I guess not, but if I was, that'd be cool??? I mean I couldn't just say "no" because it might sound weird. It's like, well if you don't want to become an idol, why are you doing this? At the same time, if I said "yes" people might be like "oh wow she wants to be an idol? Good luck with that" in a condescending tone. Also, depends on what kind of idol too since there were different types. I'm probably thinking about this too much LOL. I ended up responding with "it seems fun" in English. When in doubt, just respond in English. Someone can translate that or something LOL.
NO ONE TOLD ME I NEEDED A JACKET SO I FELT EMBARRASSED
Afterwards, the older members came back and we were told by one of them that we should change into our stage outfits, so we went ahead and did that. Then, it was time for the massive group orientation with all the teams and the staff. This was embarrassing. Because our outfits are king of "revealing" we were told to bring a jacket/parka to wear over our tops...well...I didn't get the memo because no one told me in English, but I didn't realize this until we all went to the audience area of the stage and members were asking me where my jacket was and I told them that I didn't know we needed to bring one. I also felt extra stupid because most of the teams didn't change into their performance outfits yet, so I just sat/stood there and acted like nothing was wrong even though I was really embarrassed on the inside.
After hearing the staff, the creator of the event, and the hosts speak and talk about the schedule and rules, each team stood up and one member introduced the group. It wasn't anything elaborate, it was just "hello we are blah blah group blah blah nice to meet you yoroshiku onegaishimasu" y'know standard japanese, and then we all bowed together.
Now it was just time to wait until our performance. This time, EVERYONE finally got into their costumes, and someone gave me a jacket to wear, so I finally felt less stupid/embarrassed.
Feeling Super Legit
Before each team performed, there was a photo op for fans. It feels weird calling people "fans" but apparently the circle I joined has a lot of fans and is actually fairly popular. We all stood by the entrance and people waited in line to take pictures with us as a group. It made me feel so legit LOL. One guy had a shirt with pictures of one of the members printed on it, but that member wasn't participating in this portion of the competition. I thought, "wow this group really does have fans." A lot of them seem loyal too, almost everyone knew the people who asked for pictures, so that was kind of cool.
Minutes before our performance, we waited in the dressing room. Everyone was asking each other for clarifications on certain moves, and checking ourselves in the mirrors. While we were in there, we could see on a TV who was currently performing. Gosh, it was so exhilarating!
We walked up the stairs and made it to the side of the stage. I got to see part of the audience. The venue wasn't huge, but the audience was full. I could see people's faces clearly as well. Talk about intimate LOL.
Before each performance, there was some sort of drumroll that played and then the name of the group appeared on a screen for the audience to see. The curtain opened, the music started playing, and the adrenaline seriously started kicking in.
Each team has 8 minutes to perform on stage. Some teams used part of these 8 minutes for member introductions for the audience and others used some time to play a short video in between each performance to create a storyline. We utilized all 8 minutes for dancing. We had four songs in total and different members participated in different songs. It was only during the last song when we all danced together. More experienced senior members got more stage time while the other freshmen and I only participated in the final song. I'm sure you can see why this is a smart idea haha.
As the other members were dancing and the rest of us were standing behind the curtain. I was seriously so excited. Everyone was doing so well and the crowd was really cheering us on. When it got to our dance. I was like "YESSS THIS IS IT."
Once we started dancing, my brain was pretty much on autopilot. I wasn't really thinking about anything LOL. I didn't have to think about my moves because everything was implanted in my brain from practicing so much. We could easily see everyone in the crowd which was interesting. There were guys sitting on other guys shoulders and lots of people had glow sticks. I think a few people had fan signs too. The best thing about the crowd was that it was primarily college-aged people. I thought the audience was just going to be filled with old men LOL.
Fanservice? Fanservice! FANSERVICE.
There was one part where we had to do "fan service" (they actually used that word). It's not what you think, and it's not what I thought at first either. Basically., there was a part of the dance near the end when we're all in a line near the front of the stage and each doing different moves. During that time, we're supposed to find a random person in the audience and make eye contact with them while dancing. It's supposed to make that person in the audience feel special like, "omg they noticed me!" I suppose. When, hearing about this, I was like "oh gosh do I really have to do this? This is so awkward." I even tried telling the other members that. They didn't understand "awkward" in English, but they understood "shy." Their solution to the problem was "Ganbatte!" That was really their response haha. So, right before this fan-service part, I was thinking,, "okay, let's make eye contact, not let it be awkward, and maybe have it with a handsome guy." I mean, maybe that last part would make it less weird. Well, once I finally searched the crowd for people, I couldn't make eye contact with anyone because it seemed like no one was looking at me. Good l0rd. I could have just missed someone, but I couldn't make eye contact with anyone so I just went ahead just looked in the general direction of the crowd. I guess this was a good thing since it would have felt so weird to me, but maybe I wanted to experience the weirdness???
We did it...THEN EVERYONE STARTED CRYING.
Once we got off stage, everyone was breathing so hard, but I think everyone was really happy about our performance. Two people recorded videos of us. For one of them, we all stood in front of the camera and one member of the group introduced us and did all the talking. For the other video, there was a short interview, but only one person spoke for the whole group.
When we got back to the dressing area, that's when everyone started crying. I didn't cry, but I wish I did. I didn't feel too weird because another member, who was a sempai, wasn't crying. All the first year members started crying, some just tearing up, others sobbing. Older members were tearing up too, and one was really sobbing. It wasn't that they thought they did bad, it was because we finally did it and it was not only a relief, but such an accomplishment. If you follow J-pop idols, especially akb48, you know that crying is a part of the process. I've cried from watching performances and other types of videos. I guess it's like an awe-inspiring thing. I just wish that now that I'm finally getting a taste of what this is like, I cried so I could almost get the full experience!
And funny enough, the secret camera guy recorded all of us crying, but mainly focused on the first year members. He just stood there, and I'd say he was fairly polite about it. Even though I didn't cry, one of the first year memers (who was really sobbing) pulled me close to her for a hug so I embraced her back and it was such a nice feeling omg. Then I put my other arm around another tearful first year member and we got into an emotional group hug. That was when the secret camera focused on us to record omg.
Free time and speaking broken Japanese, but feeling accomplished
Since we were one of the first few groups performing, we had free time to relax and go watch other team's performance. I was sooo tired, but I didn't want to miss out on anything interesting that might happen, so I went with a few other members into the audience to stand and watch other teams. It was cool to go from being up on stage to standing in the audience. I really liked seeing the other teams perform, but even though it sounds biased, I really think my team was the best (at least based on my own taste). A lot of other teams were really really cutesy and feminine, and although I enjoy that from time to time, I really prefer strong dancing and badass stuff, with a little bit of cute sprinkled in there.
I didn't expect this, but I ended up speaking some broken Japanese to one of the people in the audience. When all the teams were done performing, there was a short intermission break. When other members and I were moving from one side of the audience to the other to get a better view of the secret guest who was going to perform after the intermission (this was a really bad idea), someone tried saying something to me. It was two Japanese girls like my age (one might have been older than the other). One of them asked "saisho unidol?" which at the time I didn't understand, but what she asked me was "is this your first unidol?" I forgot exactly what I said to that, but eventually I ended up telling them I'm an exchange student, from america, only here for one semester, and this is indeed my first unidol. That was all in Japanese so I was proud of myself pfffft. They were really nice!
SCREAMING MEN AND CUTE GIRLS
The most surprising part of this whole thing was during the performance of the secret guest. The secret guest was a j-pop idol group who still hasn't reached mainstream success but has a pretty strong fan following which was extremely evident when they performed. Once the name of the group was announced, I felt this huge force push me from behind which put me even closer to the stage. A bunch of members from the audience went crazy and moved towards the stage and were screaming and jumping up and down. Throughout the entire performance of this group, the crowd was screaming, pushing each other, jumping, and clapping. To most people, this behavior would be what you would normally find at a rock concert, not a pop concert. Someone told me that they acted like this because most idol concerts have seating, so you can't be wild like this. I think one person almost crowd-surfed, or a group of people just picked him up. Another guy had his two friends pick him up so it looked like he was standing on top of them. It was amazing LOL. If you're familiar with J-pop idol culture, the screaming and chanting all makes sense, but if you're not, I guess it's a little hard to explain. Basically, certain songs have chants that the crowd does and some people have things for specific groups. They'll yell out a member's name to the rythmn of the song and so on. I expected that aspect, but people pushing is other and having a mild mosh pit form was surprising to me omg. I got pushed and someone stomped on my foot. My feet were so dead that it actually wasn't even painful.
Announcing the finalists!!!
When it was time to announce the winners who would be able to participate in the finals, tensions rose again. On stage were 5 members representing each team. The rest of the members and I stood in the audience in anticipation. Before a winner was announced, there was a drumroll and almost everyone held their head down and closed their eyes as if they were praying their team would be called. The winners were chosen based on fan votes and the judges opinions. The MCs announced the winners by first saying the number of votes they received and then their team name. It really felt like the senbatsu election for akb48 LOL. The members of my circle looked so sad when the first place team was called, but there was no need to worry because we were called 2nd! All of us in the audience ran to the font of the stage screaming with joy. Gosh, I wish I vlogged that.
Finally, all of the finalists took a giant group picture together.
Leaving the venue was hectic because everyone had to gather all their belongings quickly. I thought I lose my phone but thankfully it was buried in the bottom of one of my bags. pffft.
There was a final group talk, and then we all eventually split off on our ways home. We were all so relieved, and ready to take on the next stage...well except for me lol.
Japanese Culture
One more thing I'd like to mention: this was also a great way to experience Japanese work culture. Everytime I saw a staff person, or a person from another competing team, I was told to say "Otsukare-sama" or "Otsukare-sama desu" and smile and bow while doing so. If you don't know what this phrase means, it's basically translated as "good work today." Many people in clubs and circles at school use this greeting as a way to say hello to a fellow member passing by school and a way to say good-bye after practice. I feel like this type of thing doesn't really exist in America. Yes, people say "good work today" and so on,but it's not a routine expression everyone says all the time. Seriously, I said this soooo many times that day. It was really cool though, it made me feel legit LOL.
Another phrase used a lot was "ganbatte" and other variations of it. If you don't know what this phrase means, it means "do your best!" This is what fans were telling us. During our photo op, almost everyone told us this after they got a picture with us. When we were in the audience watching performances when we were done, one guy who's considered a really big fan of the group saw us and formally told us we did a good job today, some other things I couldn't understand, and then deeply bowed after. I thought this was really interesting too. People say "break a leg," "good luck" and a few other phrases, but the severity certainly seems totally different.
AND NOW WE ARE FINALLY MAKING IT TO THE END OF THIS LENGTHY BLOG POST.
If you made it this far, thank you so much for reading. It took me a few days to write all of this.
The next day, I was so exhausted. I had to skip my classes lolwhoops.
When I was looking at pictures and video clips people uploaded, I became really moved. When the full video of our final song was uploaded, I totally teared up, and when I thought about the experience more, I totally shed a few tears.
Dancing on stage and performing in front of an audience is something I really love. I love the rush I get before going on there, and hearing the applause at the end makes me feel so accomplished. This experience at Unidol, just magnified my love for this. The crowd was amazing. To be honest, being on stage and having people cheer you on is such a confidence booster. I'm sure anyone can say that. When you have people watching you, cheering for you and being excited to watch you, it makes you feel good. It makes me feel like I don't want to let them down. This crowd at Unidol was seriously the best.
It was really nice meeting the members of this circle and working with them, but I do have to leave. So instead of being sad about it, I'm going to use this as inspiration to push myself further. Nothing can/will top this experience I had in Japan, and my takeaway from this experience is that I want to keep doing things like this. I want to expand my dance cover group in Florida, I want to enter more contests and I want to stop being afraid/lazy to do things that I know will make me happy and feel accomplished.
I hope that reading about this experience was entertaining and hopefully inspiring to you too! Whatever it is that you want to do, be honest with yourself, and don't hold yourself back. I know it sounds cliche, but it's true. And while your on your way to achieving whatever it is, even if things become frustrating or embarrassing, remember why you started and what made you love whatever it is that you're doing.
Thanks for reading and check out my vlog if you haven't already!
Until next time~*~*~*~
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